Crackers, Combos sure are the Dog’s! Devious scientists at Mars, Incorporated discover how to synthesize Pepperoni Pizza and your most craven fancies are reaping the all-too-delicious harvest.
These are not, by any stretch of he imagination, a low-fat food. Granted, there’s a big whiff of wheat flour, a few token tomatoes, a smattering of spices, and altogether less egregiously artificial-sounding ingredients than you might expect. Yellow 6 Lake? Check. Red 40 Lake? Check. The old “natural and artificial ingredients,” ploy? Check. Like they say around Monsanto, “you can’t make an omelet without splicing strawberries with trout genes!” We all expect there to be some unsavory stuff in our combos—heck, it may even be why we like them—so I was surprised / impressed / a little sad to see these Pepperoni Pizza Crackers so lacking. Kinky, eh?
The thing is, they’re really good. So good, in fact, that it’s difficult to stop eating them once you start. The “cracker” crust is crispy, crunchy and salty. The pizza filling is tangy, creamy, meaty (?), and also salty. The juxtaposition of textures, plus the hefty amount of salt makes for a dangerously cravable combonation (hahaha! Ugh…). Whether you want to or not, you’re going to eat the whole bag. For the sake of your continued ability to enjoy life, the universe and future Mars, Inc. snacks, I recommend making your bag of delicious Combos Pepperoni Pizza Crackers…
A small one.