To me, it tasted good. I didn’t know about the lack of cocoa butter, the cheap oil substitutes, the novel inspired by Ms. Roseanne Quinn, or the subsequent film adaptation. What I did know was that Mr. Goodbar has been a revered member of HERSHEY’S (yes, they like their name capitalized, take it up with them) elite team of Bar-Like Chocolates since well before I was born, and as such, deserved my respectful attention.
When I review products for this blog, I tend to eat first and ask questions later. While this isn’t an advisable strategy in many other of life’s near-infinite contexts, in the case of this column, I believe it elicits the most honesty by ensuring none of my research comes between me and the important (albeit fallible) first-impressions. When it came to Mr. Goodbar, these were almost entirely positive. Solid, sweet-but-not-brain-scrambling milk chocolate, peanuts chopped to a unique, ingratiatingly fine size creating a blend of flavors and textures that felt satisfyingly complete, but not overdone.
Then I started reading.
Apparently, while still technically a kind of chocolate, Mr. Goodbar hasn’t been made with cocoa butter (or at least not enough for the FDA to consider the stuff milk chocolate) since the early 1990’s. Instead, a cheaper oil-based stand-in is used, prompting HERSHEY to print the subtly ambiguous slogan “Made with Chocolate and Peanuts” on every Mr. Goodbar. Sounds kind of icky, and seems a bit disingenuous of HERSHEY to obscure the fact that its milk-chocolate tasting confection isn’t quite what it seems, but such are the vicissitudes of marketing. They’re not lying per se, since Mr. Goodbar undeniably contains chocolate, just sugar-coating a bit.
None of this news, of course, diminishes the fact that Mr. Goodbar ranks as a definite Good Bar on my list of Good Bars, but I do see it as part of my duty as a reviewer to bring these matters to the attention of readers, for whatever it might be worth. And I can’t help but wonder, since I really do enjoy the “compromised second draft,” what the original Mr. Goodbar was like. How about an anniversary classic recipe, back to basics revival, HERSHEY, for all those of us who never got to try the first generation or are still pining for the good old days? Or what about a concomitant increase in cocoa powder for that edgier taste so in vogue these days? Is there perhaps a Mrs. GoodBar? Just sayin…