Archive for March, 2010

12 Mar

Time has Come for Revenge of the NERDS! 0

Though time has passed for Valentine’s Day, and that’s the NERD variety I sampled (read: wolfed down within a minute of having opened the package) for today’s review. Sorry for being out of the loop, but when you review candies for a living you tend to work at the whim of whatever you’ve got lying around.

I mean, I got this, but srsly.

First, let me say that I’m a little cheesed at Wonka for not incorporating the brilliant “twin-chamber” gimmick into their mini-boxes. It’s amazing how a tiny strip of chipboard separating varieties of these charming, carnauba wax coated candies can turn us into slavering Captain K’nuckleses, but then we all know what savagery lurks in the hearts of men. Lucky for NERDS, they got it together when it comes to taste, so I’m willing to forgive them this pint-sized oversight.

This wittle. Are the animal pictures working for you guys?

“NERDS Valentine” is comprised of two flavors; the straightforwardly titled strawberry and the mysterious, possibly injurious “punch.” The former is, predictably, pink very sweet and slightly creamy while the latter is white, tangy and a bit like the Juicy Juice flavor that at least has the decency to specify that it’s “fruit punch.” Separately they’re satisfying, and together they’re even better, weirdly (but not unpleasantly) tasting almost like cilantro at times. Since I’m incredibly impatient with food I tend to crunch anything I’m eating to oblivion. In the case of NERDS, crunching is a necessity, but be warned, you will cough.

Happy Hearts and Pink Things!

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in Candy, Candy Tips, Reviews

11 Mar

Never has Pepperoni Pizza been so Crackers! 0

Crackers, Combos sure are the Dog’s! Devious scientists at Mars, Incorporated discover how to synthesize Pepperoni Pizza and your most craven fancies are reaping the all-too-delicious harvest.

Bountiful

These are not, by any stretch of he imagination, a low-fat food. Granted, there’s a big whiff of wheat flour, a few token tomatoes, a smattering of spices, and altogether less egregiously artificial-sounding ingredients than you might expect. Yellow 6 Lake? Check. Red 40 Lake? Check. The old “natural and artificial ingredients,” ploy? Check. Like they say around Monsanto, “you can’t make an omelet without splicing strawberries with trout genes!” We all expect there to be some unsavory stuff in our combos—heck, it may even be why we like them—so I was surprised / impressed / a little sad to see these Pepperoni Pizza Crackers so lacking. Kinky, eh?

Not quite like that.

The thing is, they’re really good. So good, in fact, that it’s difficult to stop eating them once you start. The “cracker” crust is crispy, crunchy and salty. The pizza filling is tangy, creamy, meaty (?), and also salty. The juxtaposition of textures, plus the hefty amount of salt makes for a dangerously cravable combonation (hahaha! Ugh…). Whether you want to or not, you’re going to eat the whole bag. For the sake of your continued ability to enjoy life, the universe and future Mars, Inc. snacks, I recommend making your bag of delicious Combos Pepperoni Pizza Crackers…

A small one.

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8 Mar

Minty Fresh 0

Peppermint; some know it as a digestive, others as a pest. Ask King Leo and it’s bound to say this menthol-rich herb (actually a hybrid of spearmint and watermint) makes for fine confections, such as the kind the company has been manufacturing since 1901. Notable amongst the pool of mint-makers for its high quality products, which utilize pure all-natural peppermint oil and real sugar, King Leo offers a wide array of mint-inclined confections. The jewel in the King Leo Crown? Soft Peppermint Puffs.

His Royal Majesty, seen lounging

If you make a point to always reach for the wicker basket by the register whenever you go out to dinner, you’ve probably come up with a handful of these babies before.Several factors distinguish Soft Peppermint Puffs from the field of other after dinner palette cleansers. While the title might lead you to believe that they’re somewhat squishy don’t be deceived, they may not be as hard as starlight mints but Peppermint Puffs are no Milquetoast. They have a somewhat chalky exterior that takes a decent bite to break through and crumbly interior that dissolves slowly on the tongue. As the mints dissolve, they release waves of powerfully aromatic peppermint oil, which is mitigated, but not masked by a light sweetness. Because of their fairly generous size and lack of the syrupy film that tends to coat my throat after many after-dinner mints, I consider Peppermint Puffs satisfying as a stand-alone snack.

Try Me.

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in Candy, Candy Tips, Nostalgic/Retro, Reviews, Soft

5 Mar

Shmooth as Silk 0

Cadbury’s always done wonders with milk chocolate and I hold Caramello up as proof—at any given time, probably the creamiest thing in the room unless you bunk with Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass (in which case I’m sorry for waking you).

Caramello got quiet after a series of T.V. ads in the 80s and 90s, which at the time seemed incredibly seductive, and are now officially kitschy. I say it’s high-time the silence was broken. Summon the band from their millennial slumber!

Caramello is delicious, from its light-brown, segmented milk-chocolate exoskeleton to its gooey subcutaneous reserves of liquid caramel. The bar literally and swiftly melts in your mouth, so please don’t drown as you enjoy it, as that would not jive with the glad spirit of the bar. One thing that may help you avoid a smooth, untimely demise would be to break off squares of the Caramello and then further separate the confection into its components by squeezing gently on the top and bottom of each segment, allowing the caramel to drain completely into your mouth (or other waiting reservoir). Tackled separately, the chocolate shell and caramel goo probably won’t suffocate you. Small bites, kids.

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in Candy, Chocolate, Milk Chocolate, Reviews