Though time has passed for Valentine’s Day, and that’s the NERD variety I sampled (read: wolfed down within a minute of having opened the package) for today’s review. Sorry for being out of the loop, but when you review candies for a living you tend to work at the whim of whatever you’ve got lying around.
First, let me say that I’m a little cheesed at Wonka for not incorporating the brilliant “twin-chamber” gimmick into their mini-boxes. It’s amazing how a tiny strip of chipboard separating varieties of these charming, carnauba wax coated candies can turn us into slavering Captain K’nuckleses, but then we all know what savagery lurks in the hearts of men. Lucky for NERDS, they got it together when it comes to taste, so I’m willing to forgive them this pint-sized oversight.
“NERDS Valentine” is comprised of two flavors; the straightforwardly titled strawberry and the mysterious, possibly injurious “punch.” The former is, predictably, pink very sweet and slightly creamy while the latter is white, tangy and a bit like the Juicy Juice flavor that at least has the decency to specify that it’s “fruit punch.” Separately they’re satisfying, and together they’re even better, weirdly (but not unpleasantly) tasting almost like cilantro at times. Since I’m incredibly impatient with food I tend to crunch anything I’m eating to oblivion. In the case of NERDS, crunching is a necessity, but be warned, you will cough.